Newport Youth

"Can I also get a pack of Newports?"

"100s or box?"

"Box."

"Can I see some ID?"

"How old's your dad?"

"What?"

"You heard me! Is he in his 50s yet?"

"Um... no, not yet," answered nervously. "Then you're carding a man for cigarettes that's older than your dad."

"What? No way! I would have said 27 or 28 max."

"I get that a lot."

"And you're a smoker?!"

"Pack a day for 30 years."

"I could be your son, and I look older than you!"

"Thanks, I think."

"No, yeah, that was a compliment. What's your secret?"

"Truth?"

"What else? Of course!"

"Nah, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"No, come on! I must know; please!?"

"Alright, well, by the time I was about 7 or 8 years old, I was abused so much that I turned my back on God, and made a deal with the devil."

"You were right; I don't believe you."

"It's the truth."

"Are you okay? I mean mentally; are you all there?"

"Alright fine..."

"After that nonsense?"

"Seriously, I'll tell you, all kidding aside."

"Whatever; yeah, sure, let's hear it."

"Hey, you practically begged me, now you don't want to know?"

"If you can be serious then yes."

"Okay, so it's a number of things."

"That figures."

"Hear me out... first, I act like a spoiled brat as often as possible... but very childishly, without any concern over how it appears or affects others."

"So, you're childish? Big deal. That doesn't explain you looking twenty some odd years younger than you should."

"There's more... there's actually a whole bunch more."

"How many?"

"It's not a measurable amount; it's a lifestyle; like, wiping the inside ot a mango peel against my face each time I eat one."

"That's disgusting."

"How is that disgusting if it prevents wrinkles and reverses signs of aging?"